Why Birthday Tiaras Are Terrible

Is it appropriate to wear a tiara on your birthday? 

Whoop-tee-do.  It's your birthday.  It's your special day.  And you look special.  Special Ed.  Because you're wearing that crown on your head.  

If you were hot enough you wouldn't have to wear that flashing piece of crap to get strangers to buy you shots at the bar.