Why Phil Collins is Terrible

What's even more audacious than the fact that Phil Collins thought enough of himself to branch away from Genesis to pursue a solo career? The fact that Phil Collins had a really successful solo career. I have a feeling I'm going to meet some resistance on this one but, I can feel it coming in the air tonight, hold on.  What exactly is it about Phil Collins that you are drawn towards?  His lovely high pitched voice? His awesome drumming skills (the ladies ALWAYS go for the drummer in the band!)?  His lack of hair, perhaps?

Let's begin with the obvious reasons Phil Collins is terrible.  I don't like the way he looks.  He couldn't reek of un-rock star any more than the soccer dads he so very much resembles.

Also, he's not American. Enough said.

If his awful looks and British humor alone aren't enough to convince you that ole Philly C is unbearable how about this one. His voice sucks. Who decided to make Phil Collins the front man for Christ's sake?   Whiny, borderline off pitch, bland. I'd rather listen to Katy Perry.  Also, he covered "You Can't Hurry Love"  Really? Really? There has been no bigger disservice to Diana Ross since Lil Kim decided to wear that purple sequined pantsuit to the 1999 VMAs.


If you check out Phil Collins on iTunes you will discover that Phil Collins' two most popular songs by a gross margin are 'In the Air Tonight' and 'You'll be in my Heart,' which was a song off of Disney's Tarzan soundtrack.  Who do you think you are, Phil? Elton John. Leave the Disney songs to E.J. and Julie Andrews. 

And listen to this terrifying statistic found on wikipedia.

According to Billboard, when his work with Genesis, his work with other artists, as well as his solo career is totaled, Collins has the most top 40 hits on the Billboard charts for the 1980s.

I know one thing.  Phil Collins had better be glad the 80's provided an era of music equally as shitty as his own.. otherwise P.C. wouldn't have stood a snowballs chance in hell.

A great comedian once said something along the lines of, "You know those right wing extremists, they believe everything in Genesis is true.. every word of it.  Personally, I don't think Phil Collins is that great of a drummer."  Personally, I wouldn't give two shits if Phil Collins was the best drummer in history.  I would still hate him.

Congratulations, Phil.  You made it to the majors.  You made it, 'Against All Odds.'  But to 'Strangers Like Me' it'll be 'Another Day in Paradise' when you finally gtf out of here.