College football season is among us. You know what that means. Bring on the cloned army of Slut Nation. Not even a worn in pair of cowgirl boots and a deep side part screams "I'm a sorostitute!" as loudly as that hot pink and kelley green dress. I know school just started back and it's football season and you just wanted a chance to wear that new dress you got over the summer... but the color scheme of that shit would hardly even be appropriate in that Katy Perry candyland music video.
Hey look! This is exciting! Pulitzer even makes sorority prints! That's exactly what I need to set myself apart from the other sorority girls... As if my lettered mixer t-shirt, car sticker, nalgene and silver necklace pendant weren't enough to let people know that I'm a proud member of Kappa Gamma Zeta Delta.
In case you didn't know, there are a few rules that one must abide by when wearing an LP dress.
1) Pearls are the only acceptable jewelry item that can be worn with said dress. A David Yurman ring may also be acceptable
2) Jack Rogers and/or Tory Burch sandals are the proper footwear for a Lilly Pulitzer dress
3) A lovely pastel headband always makes a great addition
4) Need a handbag? Try a Vineyard Vines monogrammed one!
5) If chilly, a pastel or argyle sweater should be brought along to keep the chill off of your delicate skin
6) After changing out of Lilly Pulitzer dress, a Ralph Lauren button-down blouse should be worn with jeans accompanied by Sperry Topsiders footwear.
7) If you actively do any of the aforementioned things you are either a huge cornball or a huge dooouuuucccchhhe. I'm sorry, there's no way around it. You needed to know.
Sorority sluts, it's time to reevaluate those wardrobes. If you're going to drop two-fifty on a dress, how about thinking twice and picking up something that isn't printed in yellow and orange crabs, 'cause after last weekend's sexcapades with those two dudes in the same frat... you probably have 'em anyway.